Memories of Zeus

My siblings, my beloved children, and all my distant relatives have their lands. I, Zeus, gave them to them myself. Athena has her beloved Athens, Aphrodite was born in Cyprus. Okay, let her have the island. Helios claims Rhodes. Hera again, my beloved wife-sister, who still controls me, let her stay on Samos. And me? I am the god of all gods. Why do I have to fight so hard for my rights?

These modern people don't know what they want. They wonder if Crete belongs to the Minotaur. Idiots! He's a bull, just a stupid bull! And what's more, he spent his entire life in the labyrinth at Knossos.

So they wonder if Daedalus did. But he was just an architect. Okay, maybe he was wise, maybe he created wonders, like the Palace of Knossos, but he's still just a man.

I am the god of gods. Crete belongs to me!

And I will convince you of this, dear man. Just read my memoirs, for I wrote them down for you.

Here I am.

My father, of course, the great Kronos, the god of agriculture, was a Titan, and therefore a giant god (i.e., pre-Olympian). A giant who was frightened by the words of his own father, Uranus. They both fought over power. Kronos deprived him of his kingdom. I understand my grandfather; I would have been furious too.

But to be so frightened by my father's words spoken in anger? That my brothers and I would take power and the entire kingdom from Kronos? And to swallow us? Like a piece of meat for dinner? That's cruel!

But that's how it was. My poor mother, Rhea. How she must have felt when her husband ordered each child to be brought to him and swallowed each one in turn, my poor brothers: Hades and Poseidon, my sisters: Hera, Hestia, and Demeter. What had these little ones done to him? They had only just seen the world. I will always praise my beloved mother for finally standing up. She didn't allow a similar fate to befall me. As the time approached, she gave birth to me quietly, in the dark, cold, and damp cave of Dikte. She didn't allow herself to cry out in pain, lest her husband should know I had already come into the world. She gave me the beautiful name Zeus and entrusted me to the water nymphs to raise. Alone, with a stone wrapped in swaddling clothes, she returned to her husband. And of course, he devoured that rock. What an idiot! How cruel, so stupid!

The nymphs who took care of me decided that Dikte's cave was too famous, that my dear "daddy" might drop by. So they took me to a small, uninteresting cave, Ida's. I couldn't even run there; it was cakey, dark, and generally awful.

But here, in Crete, I was born and spent my entire childhood, and actually my youth as well. That's why I loved Crete and cared for it, even after I became king of the gods.

I lived in Ida's cave for a long time. And I thought for a while. It couldn't be that I, a god, would live here forever. I couldn't allow that. I devised a plan.

My father is a Titan, a great god, so it's possible that the little ones he swallowed weren't bitten. So there's hope that my siblings have grown up and all that's left is to free them. I clung to that thought. My dear mother agreed to help with the plan. She gave Kronos an emetic, and... indeed, it worked. In convulsions, he vomited up all five of them. Now we had to act quickly and ruthlessly. Together, all six of us, we declared war on Father. It was hard; we fought for 10 years. But we succeeded. We finally drove Kronos out.

I saw that I had a great sibling. Our shared struggle had truly united us. So we divided the kingdom:

• Hades became god of the underworld,
• Poseidon became god of the sea,
• Hera became goddess of the sky and fertility,
• Hestia became goddess of the hearth,
• Demeter became goddess of the earth and harvest.

We chose Olympus as our home.

I especially liked one of my sisters, Hera. First, we met secretly on the island of Samos (where she was born), and later married her. I admit, I wasn't a faithful husband. I loved her as both a sister and a wife. But a honeymoon that lasted 300 years... Who could stand it? That much time would kill any love. I wasn't thinking about separation, but rather about taking a break from each other. Even mothers say about their children that the moment they don't see them, the more they love them. Why didn't Hera understand this?

Okay, so I admit it—I cheated, and many times. I met secretly with new lovers. They were both goddesses and mortals.

A significant adventure for me was my union with the daughter of the Phoenician king, Europa. To possess her, I transformed myself into a beautiful white bull. I abducted the princess to Matala. There, I transformed myself into an eagle to fly away with my beloved to Gortyna. I took possession of her by force and fathered three wonderful sons: Minos, Rhadamanthys, and Sarpedon. I don't know what all the fuss was about. The boys were wonderful and grew into wonderful men – wise and just kings. They are the ones you consider the founders of the Minoan era.

Come to Crete, to the beautiful beach of Matala, then to Gortyna, and notice the enormous tree growing there. It was under this tree that I fathered my son, Minos, who began the Minoan era. Visit the caves of Dikte and Ida.